Katherine Ryan treated us to an evening of frank revelations, insightful advice, and wise commentary this week as she launched her new book, Firstborn Daughter, at Brighton’s Corn Exchange.
The comedian, writer and broadcaster turned her attention to the familiar but often unacknowledged pressures of being the eldest daughter, exploring the expectations that can turn women into the unofficial managers of everyone else’s lives.
The book launched this week, but unlike other events, this wasn’t a chance for her to plug it or just read out favourite sections. Hosted by Chanté Joseph, the evening showed Ryan’s ability to think fast, empathise with complete strangers, and still make us laugh. The audience, who all received a copy of the book as part of their ticket price, were encouraged to send in personal accounts of their experience as a sibling, a mother, or a child, allowing Ryan to work in her take on the situation, sharing stories of when she has been an overachieving organiser and a problem solver just because nobody else could be bothered.
In the second half, she answered audience questions and focused more on the position women like her often find themselves in. We heard about impossible situations people have been put in, dilemmas, and common misconceptions they deal with daily, with Katherine offering not a solution, but an understanding ear. Ryan often speaks on subjects like this in her podcasts, but it was interesting to see her outside the comedian role. She took people’s stories seriously, offered advice, and didn’t revert to rehearsed set pieces; it felt personal and highly emotionally intelligent.
Ryan doesn’t claim to be a psychologist or a figurehead for women, but the audience’s reactions made it clear she’s struck a chord. Her take on the role of the firstborn daughter is fresh and interesting, and her openness about her own life and how she lives it gave it real resonance. She spoke about friends, family and the comedy industry, but each story gave us a glimpse of who she really is and what she really thinks. She reached out to audience members, let them be heard and in the process, made us eager to read her new book.
For anyone who has ever been the family’s default problem-solver, Ryan’s message was clear: it may be time to stop doing everything yourself.
