‘VARIOUS ARTISTS’ – GLASTONWICK FESTIVAL, CHURCH FARM, COOMBES 31.5.24 – 2.6.24
DAY THREE: SUNDAY 2.6.24 (12 noon – 6pm)
ATTILA THE STOCKBROKER – 12:00pm – 12.20pm
Kicking off the final day of the final ‘Glastonwick’ at Coombes Farm is none other than the host himself Attila The Stockbroker who was playing (like all of the acts this year) in the carpeted barn across the way from the other barn which has been used in previous years. Clearly there was a laid back atmosphere today with many late risers from the campsite (located a few yards away up the path) having overindulged across the past two days, but Attila was heard to say that it had all gone very well. There were also a number of new arrivals, myself being one of these having left the reviewing duties to Christian Le Surf for Friday and Gail Something-Else for Saturday. Attila quite rightly said that this year’s festival is the most eclectic one that has happened thus far as you will see from today’s artists alone. For his warm-up set Attila played the recorder and violin plus a few other less well-known instruments, including (I think) a noise pipe where ‘Gaudete’ had an airing. The barn continued to fill up during his stint and he gave a history lesson in between ditties. He informed us that he has played 4000 gigs across 43 years.
SHOREHAM CHAMBER CHOIR – 12:25pm – 1:05pm
And now for something completely different, the 18 member strong Shoreham Chamber Choir plus their conductor were here to lift our hearts and spirits. It felt as though Christmas had arrived early, if you catch my drift and maybe those present should have been enjoying mulled wine instead of the vast selection of ales on offer. Each member of the mature choir was singing the lines from their A4 black songbooks. The crowd loved them and gave them a hearty applause after each song and indeed the choir were in sync and full of broad smiles. Clearly this particular segment of the day fell well outside of my usual remit, but I guess variety is the spice of life as we will see with the arrival of the next act….
DAFFADILDOES – 1:20pm – 2:00pm
And now the diametrically opposite offering in the form of the Daffodildoes who are a Brighton queer punk rock trio who are very colourful indeed. They are fronted by lead vocalist and guitarist Emily Flea with her hair of many colours and spiked up akin to Mike Score from A Flock Of Seagulls. Emily is accompanied by her orange haired Monicaned bassist and backing vocalist Captain Jax, plus capped drummer Anni Von Flange. Any cobwebs lingering from the earlier in the day have seriously been blown away by this lot. “We’re the future not you” they sang and they are more than likely correct. Their sound is traditional “1234” punk fayre akin to early Vice Squad and surely loved by the hordes at Rebellion Punk Festival in Blackpool and indeed folk more locally who attend the Cowley Club and The Pipeline in Brighton. We are told that they are signed to the Not Saints which is the world’s only not-for-profit record label and events organisation dedicated to working with those seeking a life free from drug and alcohol addiction. Captain Jax added that he can’t drink as it leads him to taking drugs. Here is a band with important messages to put across about subjects such as being queer, veganism and addictions. They are an outfit with a conscience. They played ‘Gender Agenda’ which involved audience participation on “whoas”. The barn with its souls of mixed ages were pleasingly behind the band. Their penultimate track was a brand new unnamed tune.
BRIAN BILSTON & HENRY NORMAL – 2:15pm – 3:15pm
Once again by way of complete contrast we now have a couple of poets in action, with Henry Normal taking the first half hour of the set, followed by Brian Bilston for the final half. However, before this could happen, Attila gave us an additional segment of four of his poems. Henry Normal is from Nottingham and referred to himself as Leonard Cohen and Daffy Duck, however it is likely that he is best known for having co-written the first series of the TV sitcom ‘The Royale Family’. This afternoon Henry read his comedic poems for half an hour interspersed by stand up jokes which folk enjoyed. Such as “Have you got any pot holes down your way. I have in Hastings it’s twinned with the moon”.
The baton was then handed over to Birmingham born poet and author Brian Bilston who informs us that he’s “the poet Laureate of the platform (previously) known as Twitter”. Brian read some poems beginning with one about Elon Musk. Followed by a poem called ‘Before The Internet’, which was humorous and thought provoking. Brian, like Henry, kept the now packed barn in chuckles all the way throughout his performance.
JOHN OTWAY – 3:30pm – 4:30pm
Let’s face it, ‘Glastonwick’ would be ‘Glastonwick’ without certain characters and arguably at the top of this list is the madcap but truly loveable two-hit wonder that is John Otway, who immediately and excitedly informs everyone “I am a pop star with two hit singles!”. Otway then states that his fuzz pedal is better than requiring the services of Attila as he launched into hit No.1 from 1977 ‘(Cor Baby That’s) Really Free’ on his guitar, comedically (and unintentionally) the said fuzz pedal gave out and so mid tune he summoned his faithful roadie ‘Deadly’ onto the stage to fix it, which he didn’t immediately do as the battery had run out in it and so Deadly left the stage to get another one followed by some jip from Otway. The offending item was fixed and an accompanying v-sign from Deadly to Otway was the result. After this first number Otway performed its b-side ‘Beware Of The Flowers (‘Cause I’m Sure They’re Going To Get You, Yeh)’ which he informs us was more popular than anything by Bob Dylan in a certain BBC poll. He then told us that after 25 years he had found out which end to put the “s” that goes with “hit” and thus had a second hit with ‘Bunsen Burner’ in 2002. But you know what, I know he trades off as having just two hit singles, but I reckon he is selling himself short as in 1980 I bought his ‘DK 50-80’ single and that reached No.45 in the official charts! Moving on….Otway is a decent standup and a legend and he got out his 12 string double joined guitar and spoke the lyrics to The Sweet’s ‘Blockbuster’ which the crowd filled in the next lines!. He then switched back to his single guitar and got out a coat hanger and put it around his neck which allowed him to sing and play guitar at the same time whilst moving around the stage. After that he was making use of a Theremin as well as hitting strategically placed body pads to make an electronic beat. Further antics followed which may or may not have featured a well known Stockbroker as an anoraked trainspotter!
NASTY FISHMONGER – 4:45pm – 5:35pm
And so finally we come to the final act of ‘Glastonwick’ 2024 and possibly the last act to play Coombe Farm, this being Nasty Fishmonger who Attila saw performing live last year at ‘Bearded Theory’ and he immediately knew that he had to have them on the next ‘Glastonwick’ bill. Nasty Fishmonger are a Bristol quintet of souls of differing styles with the lead singer taking care of a recorder and whistle during their set, whilst there were two guitarists who were both on vocals, as well as a bassist and a drummer, who initially was performing with Covid style mask. They offer up an amalgam of sounds and styles including sounding like American rockers Evanescence fused with Gaelic and Cornish sea shanty styles as well as German oompah and ska styled rock. They can clearly play very well, but unfortunately the barn wasn’t as full as it was for the previous acts such as Otway, but those folk that remained seemed to appreciate what the band had to offer with a good proportion dancing the afternoon away.
And there you have it…‘Glastonwick’ 2024! Roll on the next one, wherever and whenever that will be.
Read our account of Day One HERE and Day Two HERE.
