He said: “The life of a councillor is not just one of heated political debate, high level strategy meetings and networking with the city’s ‘movers and shakers’ over canapés and champagne (oh alright cava).
“Today as we do every month, the members of the Planning Committee did a series of site visits.
“To do this we go round to all the controversial planning applications in a council hired minibus (yes even the Greens travel using transport powered by the internal combustion engine).
“We view the plans in situ, trying to view large paper drawings held together with great difficulty by our dedicated planning officers in the wind and rain.
“The high point today was walking down a rather narrow unadopted access lane to some demolished garages where it is proposed to build some new houses.
“It was quickly obvious that this was a favourite spot for dog walking and that perhaps some of the dog owners were not quite so good at ‘cleaning up’ after their canine as they might be in a more public open space.
“Concentrating on the plans became increasingly difficult as the overpowering smell told us at least one councillor had trodden in it.
“Shoes were examined on a non-party political basis and the unfortunate councillor was identified – and given a wide berth on his/her (it would be ungallant of me to identify them here) walk back to the minibus.
“As we journeyed back to Hove Town Hall it was fairly obvious that the frantic rubbing of the shoe on the grass by said councillor had not worked.
“At this point the unmistakable smell of, well, dog dirt was mixed with a sudden alarming burning.
“The driver of the bus did an emergency stop and exclaimed, ‘I think you’d better all get out. The clutch has gone and there could be a fire.’
“So we councillors abandoned the bus and made our own way back to Hove Town Hall for the next committee meeting, having done our civic duty by conclusively disproving the legend that somehow there is something lucky about treading in dog poo.”
LIKE WHAT WE DO? HELP US TO DO MORE OF IT BY DONATING HERE.