GWAR + PARTY CANNON – CHALK, BRIGHTON 9.8.22
My wife and I were pretty tired and frazzled after a weekend in Blackpool attending the whirlwind that was ‘Rebellion Festival’, but how could we miss GWAR playing a few days later on our very own doorstep on this hot and sweaty Tuesday night? The simple answer is that we couldn’t. After all, this merry band of ‘Scumdogs’ had taken the trouble to travel down to our seaside for an ice cream on their battle chariots so it was the least we could do.
The name GWAR has been unfairly rumoured to stand for ‘God What A Racket’, but I certainly would never mention such a thing as I am sure they have killed for much less. GWAR (always in capital letters by the way) originally began life in outer space. A very long time ago, the beings that made up the band were part of an elite fighting force going by the name of ‘Scumdogs Of The Universe’. For eons they served a supreme being called simply ‘The Master’. Each member of the band was renowned for being Intergalactic outcasts and so they were banished to take part in a fool’s errand to conquer a planet called Earth. Whilst there, they shaped the globe, destroying and rebuilding the natural world and giving rise to all human history as we know it today.
The Scumdogs in question allegedly procreated with apes and created the disastrous race called humans. In between all that, they mainly lived in Richmond, Virginia (USA) and formed a Metal/Punk hybrid band in the year of 1984 whilst releasing at least thirteen studio albums. They were regulars on MTV at one point and even won a Grammy for their longform music video ‘Phallus In Wonderland’ (it’s the least us humans could give them). They have even managed to create a new album in recent years (‘New Dark Ages’) plus a new graphic novel. They have also put their names to hot BBQ sauces, board games, beer, whiskey, C.B.D and E-liquids. They have been more than busy on Earth you could say.
First up tonight, were Dunfermline’s infamous party slamming death metallers ‘Party Cannon’ who have a logo that is memorable, in the way that its formed of multi coloured bubble writing, which looks very amusing on a poster alongside other Death Metal groups with the obligatory spider writing monikers.
They formed in 2010 and are signed to U.S label, ‘Gore House Productions’. They have released two albums and various singles and it is an honour, for them I imagine, to have been the Earthlings picked by GWAR to open for them on this tour.
As soon as they came onstage, all tiredness went out the window as people (including myself) were kicking inflatable beach balls around the room whilst sporting party hats. Their music was tight, loud and brutal and the crowd were lapping it up. A circle pit was also formed at one point and an inflatable shark was thrown into the crowd just for good measure. My wife (Mel) had her pint knocked out of her hand at one point by a stray beach ball, but it miraculously landed on the floor upright with minimal spillage involved.
At the beginning of their last song, they urged people to get on the floor and perform press ups which was a sight to see. Watching Metal and getting fit at the same time is a genius idea (for some). Before you knew it, their set was over but not before they took a photo of the smiling crowd. A very fun set indeed coupled with my bleeding eardrums.
Check out their ‘linktree’ HERE.
GWAR were on stage soon afterwards, and were a sight for sore eyes. Scumdogs are much bigger than the human form so their presence was quite intimidating. Most of the crowd knew not to wear their best clothes tonight as there was sure to be plenty of bloodletting. The unsuspecting photographers in attendance were forewarned via a foreboding backstage note which read :
“If you shoot GWAR it is at your own risk!!! It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to protect your gear from blood, spunk and nuclear waste which will damage your equipment. Look out for Decapitations and dismemberments!!!”.
I wasn’t sure whether the venue ‘Chalk’ had applied for a public execution permit for tonight, but who would dare argue with a Scumdog?
As soon as they took to the stage they did not mess about. The kicked straight into ‘Let Us Slay’, but not before introducing a rather long necked Joe Biden who they swiftly decapitated with a giant axe. Blood gushed from his neck stump and covered the crowd, leaving them baying for more. They followed this with ‘Sick Of You’ and then introduced a redneck to the stage who was blathering on about Donald Trump and guns I think. This also irritated the Scumdogs in attendance who ritually disembowelled him onstage, throwing intestines everywhere while blood spurted into the crowd from his eyeballs. Not something you see every day.
During this atrocity they were playing their metal/punk classic ‘The Salaminizer’, but I’m not sure many people noticed while all this bloodshed was going on. The metal mayhem continued with ‘Womb With A View’ and ‘Meat Sandwich’. The former song was accompanied by the slaughter of one of the ‘Rocky Horror Show’ cast which involved more blood, but this time projecting from their severed chesticles. By this time, we were sodden with god knows what, so the singer decided to add to the occasion by revealing his four lower appendages. Before you knew it, a strange blue liquid was bursting from them which I think was his way of showing appreciation to the crowd.
A heavy metal dude was then brought to the stage who would not stop playing operatic guitar solos. This duly annoyed the band who dispatched him in similar fashion. By this time the crowd were thinking ‘Next!’ and were blood thirstily waiting for the next round of Metal carnage. Their prayers were soon answered in the form of their song ‘El Presidente’ when they brought the Russian President (Putin) out onto the stage armed with a sickle. His weapon was futile against the Scumdogs of course and Xi Jinping (the Chinese president), started to attack him with a giant hammer. Putin’s hands were severed and you guessed it, blood went gushing into the crowd. After this, the band rocked out with ‘Bring Back The Bomb’ and ‘F…k This Place’ which sent the packed room wild.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get any crazier, they brought our very own Queen to the stage who performed lewd acts on GWAR’s guitarist before being dispatched in a similar way to the rest of the victims tonight. To end tonight’s set, GWAR broke into a great rendition of AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood, (You’ve Got It)’. Their blood and nuclear waste pipes and pumps were primed and ready to go so we were treated to a thorough soaking by way of blood pumping chainsaws. By this time, the crowd was saturated and were screaming for more.
This was a brilliant night with lots of smiling faces in the room. You don’t often get to see something like this on a Tuesday night (or any night come to that). When GWAR left the stage, the floor was swimming in gunk so I didn’t envy the cleaner’s job in the morning. People were leaving the venue shaking their heads wondering why they wore a white T-shirt tonight. We went to The Pipeline afterwards and shared a beer with other nuclear waste stained gig go-ers. Brighton was pulverized by GWAR tonight and I enjoyed it. Let’s hope the Scumdogs found time to indulge in a Mr Whippy before they flew home….
GWAR setlist:
‘Let Us Slay’
‘Sick Of You’
‘The Salaminizer’
‘Hate Love Songs’
‘Mother F*cking Liar’
‘Womb With A View’
Meat Sandwich’
‘Saddam A Go-Go’
‘Berserker Mode’
‘Immortal Corrupter’
‘El Presidente’
‘Bring Back The Bomb’
‘Crush, Kill, Destroy’
‘F*ck This Place’
‘If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It)’ (AC/DC cover)
For more Info visit: www.GWAR.net
