Election Q&A with Citizen Skwith – the Official Monster Raving Loony candidate for Brighton Pavilion

Eight candidates are standing for election to Parliament to represent the Brighton Pavilion constituency on Thursday 4 July 2024.

The eight candidates are Steve AI (Independent), Siân Berry (Green), Carl Buckfield (SDP), Tom Gray (Labour), Mark Mulvihill (Reform UK), Ashley Ridley (Liberal Democrat), Citizen Skwith (Official Monster Raving Loony) and Sarah Webster (Conservative).

Each candidate answered questions submitted by voters. Here are the answers from the Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Citizen Skwith, 55, aka Dave Askwith, a painter/builder and copywriter/art director.

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Why do you want to be an MP and how are you qualified for the role?

If I were elected, I would try to bring, believe it or not, some common sense into the proceedings in Parliament.

I’ve done a number of jobs in my life – I think around 27 at the last count. Everything from shelf-stacking to being an artist at Glastonbury 2019.

Mainly, I’ve been a painter and decorator/builder and an advertising copywriter/art director.

Both involve problem-solving, and working to a tight budget. Basically, I think laterally, rather than literally.

I would look at issues from a different angle, which is something politics is lacking at the moment.

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If elected, how would you deal with performance and pricing problems in privatised utilities such as the water companies, railways, energy companies and the Royal Mail?

I’d hand back some power to the people for a start.

I think in the same way customers are handed out vague and generally overpriced ESTIMATED bills, we should be able to ESTIMATE what bonuses are paid out to executives working for our utility companies.

We could claw back millions of pounds that could be added as credits to customers struggling to pay their bills.

This would reduce bills and act as an incentive for the water, rail, energy and mail companies to provide a better service.

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What would you do to help people who are struggling to rent or buy a home? Should second homes or Airbnb-style holiday lets be banned?

Well, my main policy is when we next turn the clocks back an hour, we turn them back an additional 230,000 hours. Or about 25 years. Then housing will be affordable for all.

But on a more serious note, I think we need to repurpose all the buildings that aren’t being used and adapt them to become affordable flats.

Redesigning existing empty offices (and there are lots of them) is cheaper than building new homes on green spaces.

I would also introduce Fairbnb. Profits from second homes are taxed to help provide first homes for those who need them.

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What steps would you take to improve hospital performance, community care and access to GPs for patients in Brighton and Hove?

Our healthcare workers are overloaded at present.

One of my key policies is to provide a new source of health revenue by fining professional footballers who fake injuries. They can afford it.

The money would go directly to the NHS where people really are in need of urgent medical attention.

I would also introduce, free of charge, a new walkabout GP service.

On Mondays and Wednesdays doctors would wander their local area in white coats so that constituents could get a swift consultation on the spot. It all helps towards better community care.

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Events in Israel and Gaza have affected many members of the community here. What can people in your constituency expect you to say and do as an MP?

It’s a very sensitive issue and not one I can make light of.

Essentially, I believe that the persecuted have no flag. And it’s the persecuted, on both sides of the argument, that I support.

I don’t believe in divisive politics, or mud-slinging in Parliament, especially around such emotive issues.

My constituents can depend on me to try to build bridges between the communities affected.

If there is common ground that can help unite people, I will try to find it.

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Do you support the Royal Mail plans for Patcham Court Farm despite the threat posed to the aquifer there that provides much of the drinking water for Brighton and Hove?

Easy one. No, I don’t support the Royal Mail plans for Patcham Court Farm.

In the same way I think it’s possible to use existing sites that are empty and adapt them for use as homes, I think the same can be done by the Royal Mail.

There’s no need to build somewhere that should really be a protected area.

I’d split parcel sorting and letter sorting into two separate places that require a smaller footprint for each.

Spread the burden a bit, without spoiling the water supply for the people of Brighton and Hove.

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Polling stations are due to be open from 7am to 10pm on Thursday 4 July. Photo ID is required for those voting in person.