I feel quite sorry for our dear chief executive having to write letters of complaint to some Secretary of State on behalf of the Green Party after every full council meeting so I have decided to help …
Dear Matt, I hope you don’t mind my using your first name but I feel I know you quite well by now.
Brighton and Hove City Council, on behalf of the Green Party, thank you for all the help you have provided the city in these unprecedented times.
We are delighted to be receiving an extra £4.78 million to provide for vital services.
Brighton and Hove’s recent rate of 83.2 cases per 100,000, although worrying and rising, is lower than the national average, which we believe is testament to how everyone in the city has worked together.
Much work needs to be done but, with the PPE and testing centres in place, and with your support and that of Public Health Brighton, we feel we are prepared for the challenges ahead.
We are also certain that you and ministers recognise the importance of people’s quality of life and mental health and, off your own bat, have initiated many reports into these essential matters.
We note that a remarkably thorough report was recently produced on children’s access to mental health and presented at the Children, Young People and Skills Committee.
So rather than asking for more reports, we will be working hard to help implement the advice we have already received.
Given our inability to roll out cycle lanes in a democratic and financially astute manner, we would humbly request that this council not be allowed to keep increasing its debt burden and that any further money be paid directly to residents.
We now recognise that our Green New Deal, far from being green, new or a deal, would be centrist, socialist and extremely expensive.
We now recognise people voted for Brexit, for first past the post, that more trees are being planted than ever, that the UK is a leader in wind power and people should have the freedom to drive and fly without feeling guilty.
We promise that all our future notices of motions will be about the city of Brighton and Hove and not a platform for our socialist ideology.
We mean to trust the individual residents of Brighton and Hove and help them lead their lives as they see fit.
Yours sincerely
Phélim (I mean Geoff) and any other Green Party member who turns up
Alistair McNair is a Conservative councillor on Brighton and Hove City Council.
This is pathetic