TWAT UNION + SHALLOW HONEY – THE PRINCE ALBERT, BRIGHTON 22.6.25
For weeks up to the last date of their tour, I’ve been immersing myself in the world of Twat Union, the South East London sextet crafting theatrical feminist punk-pop by listening to their debut EP, ‘Don’t Look It In The Eye’ — a masterclass in abrasive guitars, ear-candy melodies and lyrics that stick to your brain like gum, all delivered with excellent, cheeky humour.
My immersion continued as I arrived at The Prince Albert at 2pm. The room was almost empty, bathed in the humid blue stage lights beating down – seemingly eroding the banner emblazoned with bright pink ‘Twat Union.’ The melancholic murmurs of ‘The Rope’ by Wunderhorse playing in the background, whilst I started sweating from the heat The Prince Albert had seemingly absorbed from the past few days. “Dark and creepy,” remarked one person when walking in – who I later assumed was a member of our soon-to-be first act Shallow Honey. Not quite the vibe you associate with either band, however.
This afternoon’s event was hosted by ‘Loud Women’, which is a nonprofit music promoter, online zine, festival and record label, committed to putting women at the forefront of their shows, focusing on female DIY artists and female led groups.
The opener, our beloved self-proclaimed dirty pop ‘Shallow Honey,’ consists of four members: Rai Conway on vocals, Ben Sivitar on guitar, Carlos Toppin on bass and Seb Phillips on drums. Although together the cohort deliver an outstanding performance, it’s quite difficult to take your eyes off of Rai; her energy and passion were utterly mesmerizing. They kicked off at 2:31pm with ‘So, Still?’ where ‘Mclusky’ instantly came to mind from the overdriven bass tone. Then without a pause, the drum skips into ‘Ex Instinct,’ where the guitar lines echo ‘Smashing Pumpkins’ in the bridge. They played their most recent single as well, ‘Look What You Made Me Do,’ which serves as another direct and defiant response to being underestimated and misunderstood.
Shallow Honey:
Rai Conway – vocals
Ben Sivitar – guitar
Carlos Toppin – bass
Seb Phillips – drums
Shallow Honey setlist:
‘So Still’
‘Ex Instinct’
‘Break Up Breakdown’
‘Aim Low’
‘Emily Doe’
‘What You Made Me Do’
‘Lightweight’
‘Ordinary Man’
‘Control’
‘Start The Rite’
I arrived with no expectations for Twat Union, but what unfolded was a delightful surprise that made my inner theatre kid flutter with joy. I won’t spoil everything but trust me – there’s a moment here for everyone.
Their set ignited with the low, throbbing hum of bass – launching into ‘W.H.F’ (the W, as you may or may not have guessed, stands for ‘wanking’). Katie, the lead singer, in triumph, whipped out a tiny pink drill and declared “I have dildos stronger than this,” which was then met with a four-part harmony. And then what eventually followed was a joyous, chaotic country line dancing, culminating in a killer Kurt Cobain esque solo — with a vibrator.
The next song – and one of my favourite – is ‘Period Sex’ a hilariously relatable tale of, well, period sex (unless you aren’t having sex on your period, to which Kate might say “What the f*ck are you doing?”). It kicks off with a lone kick drum which instantly brings ‘White Stripes’ to mind, the titular phrase repeating like a mantra, suspicion is high ‘who moved the towel?’ The tension builds instrument by instrument, creating a raucous narrative about, well, period sex. Then we had ‘Red Flag’ which is the first song where Beth swaps her guitar for the saxophone
Then what follows suite is likely the best written piece of contemporary performance art I’ve ever witnessed. The keyboard and drummer engage in a romantic dance, before they started harmonising meows. Truly emotive, honestly…It gets even more eccentric than this with the song ‘The Witch’ (an ironic twist on the experiences of women during PMS, which is often 1. A dismissed experience for women, and 2. Often used against women… you really can’t win). The song ended with blue ribbon being thrown on Katie, now wearing a purple-blue witch hat and cape, before she succumbed and gave Lucie the torch (a tiny kitchen broom), to which Lucie then did the infamous Elphaba vocal run, but as a result met the same result as our lead vocalist.
We were then graced with the ballad ‘Thigh Chafe,’ whose chord progression (hilariously, yet undeniably) mirror the melancholic beauty of Radiohead’s ‘Creep,’ whilst also sharing a surprising Kinship with Christina Aguilera’s ‘Beautiful.’ This gem also featured a stunning saxophone solo and some absolutely gorgeous, soaring vocal riffs from Katie — delivered a cappella, mind.
Then we have ‘UTI’, a comedic yet poignant homage to the incredibly unfortunate experience that most women are familiar with. Beth, putting her rhythm guitar down, chugged an entire litre carton of Ocean Spray cranberry juice (incredible stamina might I add) before launching herself into saxophone again – it felt straight out of a Fat Dog show. Our encore was ‘Twats’, a playful anthem that goes through each letter and its designated meaning (A, for instance, attachment style). It was the perfect, irreverent end to such an unforgettable afternoon.
Twat Union:
Katie – vocals
Alice – keys, trumpet, backing vocals
Beth – saxophone, guitar, backing vocals
Haz – drums
Lucie – guitar, backing vocals
Tessa – bass
Twat Union setlist:
‘W.H.F’
‘Little Pink Drill’
‘Tiny Shorts’
‘Period Sex’
‘Red Flag’
‘Pussy Song’
‘Singer Of The Band’
‘The Witch’
‘Danger Boob’
‘Thigh Chafe’
‘UTI’
‘Twat’
